She's Ours!

It's official. This morning, back at the civil affairs office, with a signature, a red thumb print and a promise to love her and never harm or abandon her, Cate became our daughter. After the months of paperwork and forms, this was nothing. Simple. To the point. And done in ten minutes.

She has (I think) attached herself to me. She wants me to hold her, is still a little leery of Steve (I don't think she has seen many men before) and burst into tears when the director of the orphanage tried to hold her today for a photo, although yesterday she went right to him. She was quiet, and pretty shut down all morning, but when we walked back into the hotel room this afternoon, she started to smile and laugh. She knew she was staying and I was glad to see her at peace. As I type, she is resting in her crib, quietly playing and talking to herself. Steve and Alex are out exploring Nanjing. The day is gorgeous - at least 60 degrees and sunny, a lovely day to walk around.

Cate slept straight through the night and I had to wake her this morning (sorry, Omi!...it killed me too!) She ate a hard boiled egg, soaked in soy and a bowl of congee for breakfast. No pork flakes any place that I could see. I, myself enjoyed a bowl of pumpkin congee, Steve a pile of dumplings and Alex egging everyone on to take "no thank you bites" of every unusually food he could get his hands on.

After we completed the paperwork this morning, Cate and I headed with most of the group to Walmart. For those who know me well, you know this was an act of complete desperation, the same desperation that had me dodging buses and bikes yesterday to find a McDonalds so I could buy chicken nuggets, which I was sure Alex would eat. Anyway, back to Walmart. The store is several stories high and pretty typical of what you would find in the U.S. until you get to the grocery section. I needed to buy some bananas and water, but found myself in the prepared food, deli, meat section, unable to tear myself away. Cooking group - no need for a trip to Albany or NYC to the Asian markets - just a trip to Walmart. Want fresh seafood? Fresher than the Price Chopper? No problem. Pick your fish or crab while it swims. Take it home and cook it. Not much fresher than that. Need an eel, a jelly fish or fish eggs? No problem. You can get it fresh at Walmart. Short on pigs's ears or want to serve a roast chicken, feet attached? You guessed it. You can buy it at Walmart. I wandered over to the snack aisle hoping to find something a little healthy for Alex and Cate to munch on. I found it in the freeze dried squid and the individually packaged goose livers, wrapped like hard candies. In the imported food section - Ritz crackers, costing much more than all the other things I just mentioned. I wish this store was next to the hotel. I would be in there eating all day (maybe not the items I mentioned above, but I would be hanging out at the dumpling/ steamed bread counter).

Leaving Walmart, I caught a cab back to the hotel with another family in our group. A word about the traffic here in China. It is insane and yet, somehow, organized. No one uses signal lights. Cars and buses and bikes and mopeds weave in and out of every lane. If someone gets in your way, you just slam on the breaks or pull slightly into another lane. To the Western eye, it is madness, and yet it is nothing like NYC. There is no sense of road rage or hostility or tempers flaring in this chaos. It just seems to be what you do in a country with over a billion people and a zillion moving vehicles.But it is not for the weak of heart and it is not for strolling about unless you have taken several Valiums and a shot of tequila before you go. We just follow the locals. If they are still alive, we figure, chances are following them will keep us alive too.

I have to say, that in the travelling I have done, this is the first time in my life when I really FEEL that I am in a different part of the world. Much is Westernized. That is true. But it is different here. The people are different, much more forward and direct, but in a friendly way. They are more open to smiling and speaking to you. It is also the first place I have been where you can't assume that everyone else knows enough English to get by. Many people do speak at least a little (certainly more than we Americans speak Chinese), but most people do not and the language is too different to deductively reason your way into ordering something off a menu or attempting to make out what a sign might say. In Italy, in France, in Spanish speaking countries, it is not hard and you have always had enough wine to try a little of the language. Here it is almost impossible, but when you do try, people seem to apprecaite the effort. Steve is making a real attempt and he has gotten several compliments. Our tour guide told us it is very difficult for Westerners to learn Chinese because the way you use your tongue when you speak is totally different. I think the training of the ear is different too because I have a hard time telling what sounds to make, even after I have heard a simple word several times... is it ta tein? Ja tein? Sa jein? But we are trying and having a good time making the effort.

Steve an I both agree that we could make a reality show called "Extreme Parenting" out of this experience. How much more could we throw at Alex? Long plane ride, several plane rides in between, 13 hour time difference, meetings, small hotel room, no open space, no place to play outside, new sibling, no schedule, no familiar food, no TV station you can understand except the BBC... oh wait... not challeneging enough? New child you know next to nothing about who speaks Chinese.... this experience is a life and relationship builder, and while we have each had our moments, I think we are holding up well and in the quiet moments of each day, I appreciate what we are experiencing all the more for having done it as a family.

Now, off to watch my sleeping daughter.