Kid to the Left, Kid to the Right, Only Chopsticks in Sight

It was a challenging day. Alex bottomed out, or at least, I hope he bottomed out because if today wasn't the bottom, I don't want to see what it looks like. He is sad and angry and difficult. And to be honest, I think Steve and I bottomed out too. I won't go into the gory details, but blessedly, both children had a long nap at the same time. Steve went out to explore a little and re-center himself and I just sat in our silent room, waiting for our documents to arrive and looking at both of these beautiful kids... thankful, anxious and beating myself up more than just a little for all the things a mother can beat herself up for... Alex woke up first, and I was glad. Cate has become a tiny shadow, following me every place and I just needed a moment to be alone with Alex. I gave him a long talk about how much I loved him, how hard I knew this was for him, how I knew he was probably a little home sick, and again, how very, very much I loved him. He sat on my lap, listening quietly, his head against my chest and then said, "Okay. But I love Dad." Stated very sweetly, very sincerely, without a hint of anger, but still, how is it that boys know how to go straight for the hearts of their mothers? In case I hadn't gotten the point, a few minutes later he looked up from whatever he was doing and said, "Mom, I really love you more than all the other moms. I love you 500. But I love Daddy 1300." So, the Golden Age of Daddy has been heralded in.

Cate, meanwhile, discovered the joy of mobility today. I am not sure how much opportunity she had for roaming at the orphanage, and the first three days, I carried her every place. But she is a heavy girl and muscles long forgotten in my body are starting to complain. So, today, I put her down and held her hand, and she took off. She walked every place. Quickly, confidently on short little legs. She just kept walking, long past the p0int any other child would have complained. In fact, she didn't want to be carried. She just wanted to be free. She walked up the steps of the ancient wall of Nanjing. She walked the length of the wall. She walked through the jade exhibit at the Nanjing Museum. Through Folk Arts and Earthen Treasures. She did laps with Alex around the halls of the hotel. She laughed, and giggled and walked with sheer determination.

The nap was restorative to all, and we were able to pull it together and join our group for a celebratory dinner. This is where the next challenge began, fortunately not of temperament, but of dexterity. Cate was seated in a highchair next to me. Now, I am sure she must have fed herself at the orphanage, but she has not in our care. Alex, suddenly allowing me back into his inner circle sat on the other side, nestled as close to me as possible. On a normal day, I would have requested more space, but on this particular occasion, I decided to just let him be. Out came the food, ordered by our wonderful facilitator, Anna. Boiled peanuts in plum sauce, lotus root, duck filled dumplings, deep fried noodles, pork, a whole fish. The food kept coming and was delicious. There I sat, surrounded by new friends and their children, red lanterns and trees creating the backdrop all around us... a kind of Chinese wonderland... trying to navigate all of the tempting dishes that continually circled by on the giant lazy- Susan AND feed two children with chopsticks (keep in mind that one of them has bronchitis, so feeding her required switching sticks to keep the germs at bay). (The one item on my packing list I left behind was the kiddy chopsticks Alex uses at home. He is a pro with those. Left to the real thing, he is helpless.) But, we managed and had fun and no one cried or complained, and when we left the restaurant, darkness had settled and the city was alive with neon lights and lanterns and cherry blossoms and Alex was captivated, and said "I didn't know China was so beautiful at night." And it was and it is. And on the walk back to the hotel, he sat in wonder in his stroller and snapped picture after picture of the bright lights and the big city while Cate sang over and over a little song, whose words I do not know, but sound like "Doan Doan Mei Mei." Over and over and over on the magical and happy walk back to the hotel.