Laughs by the Lake

Today was a free day, the first we have had since we arrived in China. I can't believe a week has already gone by since we left home. Our world has changed, and yet it seems to have passed by so quickly. But the free day was much needed by all of us.

Cate is transforming before our eyes. She is laughing, playing, smiling and warming up to her baba. She babbles nonstop when she is really in her element. Some words, I think, others just sounds. For the most part, she stands in one spot and plays with anything within her reach. Once she has something, she hates to give it up, and attempts to hold as many things as possible in her hands. Today, she carried a granola bar (still in its wrapper) for hours, until it was melted and crushed and popped open and I had to take it away. Taking something away shuts her down. She puts her head down and just withdrawls. No eye contact. No sounds. We let her go for a moment and then try to bring her back out - handing her another thing for her hands, tickling her, anything to get her to look at us again. Sometimes, she turns around quickly. Other times, she just looks wounded for quite a long time. It doesn't matter if it me or Steve or even Alex... and I would have guessed she would be used to other children taking things away. But, she still shuts down.

She is laughing a truly happy laugh. She giggles uncontrollably if she does something we think is funny. She has the look of mischief in her eyes and I have a feeling that when she settles in, she will be giving all of us a run for our money. But she is also so compliant and I hope I do not somehow undo this characteristic in her. When it time to change her diaper, I hold a diaper up and she lays down. Getting dressed, she stands patiently, lifting one arm, then the other, one leg, then the other to help with the process. When I feed her, she eats. She does not refuse the orange because there is too much "white stuff" on it or say she had something else in mind. She eats it. The only think she has wrinkled her nose at is yogurt, and not being a fan myself, I share the feeling. At naptime and bedtime, I put her in her crib and she goes to sleep. This, to me, is nothing short of a miracle, having had no previous experience with a child who willingly goes to sleep.

At this point (and not understanding her language, I could be wrong), I would say she seems developmentally like an 18 month old, but I can see her blossoming from our attention and I know she will catch up quickly. Already today, she tried to say "book" and when Steve handed her something and told her to say "xie xie" she said it back to him without hesitation.

Alex is doing pretty well. He was a delicate creature this morning, not at all sure he was happy to be a big brother after all. He looked pale and felt warm and I worried he was getting sick. He even fell asleep as we walked to the park. But twenty minutes later, he woke up like a new kid. Suddenly, he loved us and Cate and the whole world again, but I know it is difficult for him on so many levels. It has been a tremendous help that he has been able to make Cate laugh today on his own, and that I could walk into the bathroom and leave him "in charge" and she didn't cry, but played with him. She has been such an idea in his mind for so long, I always feared the reality would be a challenge for him, and it is, but I do think he is trying hard. When we out in Nanjing today, it occurred to me that being in such a bustling city must be nearly as overwhelming to him as it is to Cate. She has probably not been outside of the orphanage much, and Alex has not been out of the comfort of his cozy village of 2,000 people all that often.

So, out of the village of 2,000... we were the only Westerners we saw today, except for one of the families in our group. We spent several hours out today feeling quite conspicuous with our attention grabbing light-haired son and our new Chinese daughter. Alex is still turning heads, although he has not drawn the crowds he did in Beijing. If not for Alex, I probably would not have noticed and it is almost refreshing to feel like you really are some place else... you know - you haven't travelled around the world just to look at the same faces you see at home. This does have drawbacks when you need to find a restroom and while you can communicate the need, you can't read any of the signs... does a rat with a bow on her head next to a rat with a cap on his head mean male and female bathrooms? Take a deep breath, open the door.... no.... it is an office... hmmm.... if it isn't that sign, which could it be? Try asking again. This time, get pointed to a sink... closer, but still no cigar...Better to eat quickly and get back to the hotel!

But back to our outing... we spent much of the day by the lake that is in the center (I am guessing) of Nanjing. It is a lovely park - a quiet oasis where you might get run down by a bike, but not a bus. Willow trees, just budding, line the shores of the lake. Kites fly high dotting the skyline. A wooden pathway meanders for a distance through the woods. It was just the space we needed to catch our breath and relax while Alex played. To his delight, a monstrous jumping castle also dots the landscape of this park. We paid about $1. 50. Alex bounced for nearly three hours. I am not kidding you - first with some children who were already there and then with a little girl in our group. Three hours we sat next to the bouncy castle, enjoying the cool breeze and conversation with this other family while our children happily jumped away. It was the best $1.50 I ever spent. Cate sat on my lap and played with Steve who tried to win over her affection with goldfish crackers and Alex bounced over on occasion to show her his feats of athleticism. After the bouncing, we rented a small electric boat and took it out on the lake for an hour. As always, seeing a place from the water lends a totally different perspective. On the lake, we were surrounded by Nanjing... but not just the Nanjing of many cars and many people. From the water we could see temples and pagodas rising on hilltops, an ancient looking wall, the willows and flowering trees... the beauty of this place. Cate really came to life as the light breeze hit her face and I wondered what could possibly be going on her her head... two days ago she awoke in the orphanage... today, surrounded by her family the wind in her hair (in theory at least... even though it was 70 degrees, I kept a hat on her head so I wouldn't offend any kind grandmas we might encounter)... anyway, what could she think? How could she be sitting, laughing and happy? The human spirit is resilient.

Finally, after an ice cream and dinner of dumplings and noodles at a fantastic place Alex has dubbed "Noodle Hut" we headed back to the hotel, happy for this family day. Our first outing as a family of four.